Goals are for amateurs. And by amateur, I mean the 10X-er. The person who is highly motivated and driven by external results. The amateur believes that with enough hard work and ‘man power’ she can achieve anything.
Hi, I’m Sarah and I’m a recovering amateur.
I used to set the BIGGEST goals and work the HARDEST out of anyone….using all my strength, grit and energy to push through and make it happen. And it never mattered what it costed me — money, relationships, self-care, my adrenals or my sex-life.
5 years later I found myself in the fetal position waving my white flag. I couldn’t do it anymore.
So ladies, LISTEN UP……we don’t have to be the rhino with heads-down-horns-up to achieve our goals. We no longer have to ‘make it’ in a mans-world by using our do-all-the-things multitasking abilities.
No more forcing, pushing, thrusting or giving it all up to get that thing, or things, we most desire.
Goals unintentionally force us into this belief that we must push harder and harder to achieve them. Hurting us in the long run. Similar to that time when you hurt someone and they never said anything until it was too late.
We have super-woman super powers within us (that do not require ‘man power’) and it’s time to start tapping into the kryptonite.
You see, I used to believe achievements defined me and making X amount of money would bring me happiness. And that with enough late night work sessions, I would accomplish what I set out to accomplish.
And that was true, I did accomplish a lot. I was making well over 6 figures in my third year of business. Sadly, I wasn’t happy and I wasn’t living in my truth. I was aggressive, easily frustrated by others lack of getting shit done and struggled to connect with my why.
And because I believed achievements defined me, when I did not hit goals (which was OFTEN), I would feel like a complete fucking loser and have a massive toddler-like break down, causing Adam to question what he got himself into. I would quickly hide all those horrible feelings (I most often felt like I wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out) by setting even higher goals and putting myself through the war, yet again.
People would PRAISE me for all that I achieved. You are so great Sarah, how do you do it all?? I want what you have. You are so successful.
Don’t judge a book by it’s cover.
I got it here because I forced it. I pushed as hard as humanly possible. I rarely took breaks and I suffered a lot in silence. I do not wish this kind of ‘success’ on anyone. I am however, very accepting that this is my path and I am here to teach others of a new way. A way I would have only discovered by first going down this path.
You do not need to 10X it to be successful.
I have since learned that there is a path less traveled. A path of lesser resistance. The scenic way, if you’re into that sort of thing.
Yes, it most likely will take longer than what I was describing above, as the scenic way often does. But the treasures you find along the way are impossible to see when you are in a constant state of pushing, achieving and setting goals.
Once I realized that I didn’t need goals to fulfill my desires, the flood gates started opening up for me. I was able to start listening to my intuition and tapping into the power of co-creation.
Whether or not you see yourself as a creator, you are in fact creating your own reality in every action, breath, thought, intention and word you speak, whisper or shout. You do so in partnership with your higher power…the Universe, God, Spirit, The Collective Consciousness (or whatever you call your higher power). You are the container for this knowledge as it works through you, nudging you along the way with inspired downloads and intuitive guidance.
Understand that before I got to this point, there were many moments of ambiguity, distrust, disbelief and half-ass hesitation. I found myself questioning every decision I was making. “Is this the path I am supposed to take? Is this my intuition speaking? Where the fuck am I even going?!?!!!!”
Learning to follow your intuition is not something we are taught in American culture.
It’s just not common knowledge. The only thing we know how to do is work hard to get what we want. We have no idea that a different path is available for us.
Every day, your intuition is muted by cultural belief patterns that say hard work is the only way. That voice is constantly reminding you… if you are not working hard, you are a lazy piece of shit. And then there is distrust and disbelief. The intuition and knowledge is there, within you, but you refuse to hear it because you don’t think it’s possible.
Your intuition is always speaking to you through signs, synchronicities, visions, feelings, numbers, animals, conversations with others, and in your physical body. You always have a choice to peel back the layers of patriarchal beliefs and start listening to your truth.
Do you trust that your intuition is readily available to you?
Over the last 15 months, I have been working quietly behind the scenes to break away from old belief patterns. And let me just say this…. old beliefs are like stage 5 clingers. Just when you think you are free and clear they come back with a massive guilt-trip pulling you back into the merry-go-round of old thought patterns.
It takes willfulness and courage to release these old beliefs. You must be willing to believe that the pieces will come together as you let your current reality shatter. Trust that your intuition is there to divinely guide your actions and decisions, putting the pieces back together.
Intuition is co-creation with higher power.
And let this be known…intuition does not mean lack of action or reclining back and letting it happen. FUCK NO! You still must take action!! Your intuition will guide you to the path of least resistance, making life and business much easier. Intuition will bring you to the people you need to meet, or allow you to hear information you need to hear.
Setting goals creates tunnel vision.
When you set a goal you put on your blinders and can only SEE that outcome.
“Put on your blinders”….you’ve heard that before, right? It’s run-of-the-mill advice and common practice within the online marketing/business building world and I get why. There is an inadequately excessive (aka way too fucking much) information for us to consume and learn. If we are to survive in the interwebs, we must set some sort of boundaries. But don’t forget, boundaries are liquid. You have to understand that there is a balance for this. Blinders yes, to keep you focused. But not a fucking blindfold…. You still have to listen with your eyes and see with your ears. Otherwise, you will miss the golden opportunity.
And golden opportunities are everywhere. They are not sparse. They are not once-in-a-lifetime, as we’ve been taught to believe. Golden opportunities are abundant.
It’s a deliciously delicate balance. You have to know when it’s time to let go of a focus and redirect your course. And that is where your inner compass (intuition) comes in.
And that right there is why I am not setting ‘goals’ this year. I refuse to put myself in a straight jacket and miss the power of what my intuition is telling me.
So, what the F?!? If we don’t set goals, what do we do instead?
Instead of attaching yourself to a goal, create a vision for your life.
This vision comes from your heart space and is more about how you want to feel, not about what you want to achieve. It’s time to get out of your head and into your heart.
The winter season is a powerful magnet. What you are seeing, thinking, doing and saying are the seeds you are planting for the harvest ahead, that comes during Fall.
So you still have time, lots of time (through the Spring Equinox on March 21st to be exact), to seek and cultivate this vision.
Many times, the answers we seek are sitting right there in front of us (sometimes dancing around right on our laps). So make sure you are allowing yourself to SEE what it is you want for your life.
Here are a few questions to help cultivate your vision….
- What does a soulful business look like and feel like to you?
- If you had access to all the money in the world, what would you do even if you didn’t get paid?
- Are the products and services you are promoting in alignment with your truth? Are they beneficial to you, your audience and the planet?
- What are the ways and means you are using to attract your audience? How does that make you feel?
- Are you in your truth and integrity with your message, both in content and the way you present it?
- What changes do you need to make in order to become more aligned with what you want and desire in your business?
Take your time creating your vision. This is not a race.
If you are feeling confused or unsure of how to proceed, trusting that the lack of clarity will soon lead to clarity.
“When we feel anxious or unsure about the future, or about the next step, it is only because we are in a point in time before clarity and direction has become clear to us. But if we recognize ourselves to be in that moment before clarity, we are able to relax and watch as that clarity arrives and the next step reveals itself to us. We are invited to trust the process, to relax our minds and surrender to the process. The moment before clarity of direction is a natural part of the cycle of becoming, and as we exist in time, we must live through that part of the cycle in order to reach the next. And then we will see, it will arrive just as naturally as the springtime naturally follows winter.”~Simon Vorster, Raising Vibrations
If after reading this and spending time with the questions above, you still feel like you want to set goals, that’s okay too. This is my experience and my perspective. However, I do encourage you to go deeper with this desire….asking yourself why you feel so gung-ho about setting goals and see what comes up. What is driving you to set these goals and what are you expecting to get from them?
So, what’s pinging around in your brain after reading this?!? I’d love to know…. questions, comments, criticisms, appreciations. Please post below right here on my blog (it helps increase my blog score). I’m open to receiving it all. My intention here is to get you seeing a different perspective and to question what you’ve always done. Did my intention become your reality?